Ivy's monologue

I'm stuck. I know that I love him, but I have absolutely no idea how to tell him. For weeks I've been searching for the right moment. But If I were to tell him now, things would become so awkward. I would put our entire friendship at risk, and take the chance of losing him forever. Yet if I don't tell him now, I know I'll regret it and spend the months he's gone just thinking about what would have happened if I had told him. I guess this is the perfect time. Here it goes.